JUST ANOTHER AVERAGE JOE, SPINNING HIS WHEELS AND GOING NOWHERE…
My story begins in 2005. Back then I, like most men, did not know any better. Of course this was before I was saved! For years and years I was looking for Ms. Right. Like everyone else I was trying to live the “American Dream,” doing everything I could to improve my chances of getting a “piece of the pie,” so to speak. I thought that if I could keep up with the “Jones” that it would make my life more fulfilled by increasing my chances to get a beautiful woman. I did everything society tells you to do when you’re a young man; I went to college, started my own business, owned my own house, had 2 very nice cars, and in the end I had no baggage either (children or divorce). I was better than average looking and still had to work endlessly to find girls. I thought I was doing everything right, but I was wrong!
THE THINGS WE DO TO GET THE PUSSY…
When you look back don’t you think it’s funny how many things we spend money on and all the hoops we jump through just to get pussy? The reason I said I was wrong in my endless pursuit is because American women (American Pig=AP) are flawed. We work our asses off and buy huge houses we don’t need, popping for fancy cars, dinners, and clothes, all to impress women. Once you acquire the pile of shit AP you have to drink just to numb the pain of all that bitching and complaining, just so you can wake up and get back on the hamster wheel to keep your pile of shit AP around.
Times have definitely changed and women in America are hands down the worst in the world!! Overall I find them to be disrespectful and lazy, stripping you of your manhood. There happiness is you being unhappy! All that and then they make you beg to fuck them, get fat as shit, cheat on you in a heartbeat, upgrade you for a guy with more money, or drop you just to hook up with a guy and then take half your shit when she divorces you! Fortunately I have never been married and I am definitely not a misogynist because I love women more than anything in this world, but I can’t stand American women. The truth is that men die much younger than women, and the answer is simple: we kill ourselves to find women, take care of them, put up with them, and then have them take half of our shit if we marry & divorce. Wouldn’t it be great if they chased us around? Well, they do the chasing here in the Philippines and in many other countries too. Trust me!
When I was 21-years old my friend and I went fishing with this upper level management guy in his late 40’s. He told us about a story about getting a mail order bride. At the time I thought to myself, “wow, what a loser! He can’t get laid, that’s so pathetic.” But that was back when I was a “young buck”. I was in college and things were much different because partying in college was a short-lived dream before we hit the “real world”. When I got a little older I realized it wasn’t that he couldn’t get laid, it was that American women are just so shitty and worthless. He wasn’t going to waste his time with them, so why should I? It was then that I saw the true genius behind idea.
HOW MY LIFE WAS CHANGED FOREVER!
I was on a networking meeting and found a business card of a person who was in a related field. I was seeking people to increase my business through referrals. This is a very rare event for me due to the fact that I didn’t do much networking at the time. The presenter passed around a Rolodex full of business cards and told us we could pick and choose cards from the people we thought might be helpful.
That’s when I found a winning lottery ticket! Not a ticket tied to some cash reward, but rather a lifestyle of pleasure beyond my wildest dreams, I found a guy named Crazy D’s card. The card was plain and simple, but because he was in a related field I called him up to set a time for a lunch meeting to see if we could network together. This would become the luckiest day in my life! While waiting at the bar for Crazy D at a local restaurant, I was completely shocked when in came this 6’4”, 280 pound giant of a man talking on his cell phone. We introduced ourselves and sat down for our business lunch. Within minutes of talking about business, Crazy D told me about the Philippines! His energy and excitement when describing the Philippines was so intense that I was on the edge of my seat in total amazement. I thought for sure this guy was full of shit and that the place he was describing was exaggerated or worse, didn’t even exist at all!
THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING…
Crazy D said, “Buck I know this all sounds unreal but give me a call sometime and I will show you some picture to prove it to you.” After lunch my day was ruined! My head kept spinning and I couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything because the stories I heard were enough to make Hugh Hefner jealous.
I called Crazy D the next day and told him I had to see the pictures for myself; he agreed to meet later that evening. When I got over to Crazy D’s house, he pulled out two huge storage bins packed with 20 photo albums each. Crazy D removed the cover and told me to have a look. I opened the first one and my jaw almost fell off! He had photos of all the girls he had been with for each trip. Each girl had four photos: fully clothed, fully clothed with Crazy D, naked, and one in a sexual act with Crazy D. I couldn’t believe how sexy these girls were and as I was flipping through Crazy D would tell me about each one, all the fun things about their personality, and details about them in the sack. I left Crazy D’s in total shock. This guy was for real and backed up everything he said with pictures.
Crazy D and I talked a few more times over the phone and went on another lunch meeting together. At lunch, Crazy D and I were talking when he asked, “hey, do you wanna go?” My heart skipped a beat. I nervously said, “where?” Crazy D said, “to the PI (Philippines).” So many thoughts raced through my mind, the biggest one being I had only had lunch with Crazy D two times and had only been to his house once. I had only known him for 2 months when he is invited me to go on a trip to the other side of the world, so I told him I’d need to think about it.
THE DECISION THAT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER…
After a night of indecision, thinking of how much I wanted to go but feeling too anxious about having never been to a country outside of United States I decided to call Crazy D back. It took me a few days to mull it over in my head, but I came to the realization that if I didn’t go this chance may never come again.
I have to admit I was scared at first, even though I was 28-years old at the time. I made the decision to see what the world had to offer. I knew that American girls sucked, so I had to check out other places or die having to deal with American girls. I have to admit the single biggest factor in my decision to go was having Crazy D be my personal tour guide! Having someone “hold your hand” took all the guess work out of everything. From knowing where to go, what to eat, and how not to get hustled in process is priceless. I called Crazy D and I told him I was up for the trip; I believe he was more excited than I was when I gave him my response.
I DIDN’T HAVE TO LIFT A FINGER AND ALL THE GUESS WORK WAS GONE…
Once I made my decision to go everything for me was taken care of by Crazy D. He made all the arrangements for the airfare and prepared the game plan for our trip. He reassured me that I shouldn’t worry, and his vast knowledge made me feel comfortable with my decision to go. Looking back now, I know I would have never had the nerve to check out the Philippines without Crazy D. Unlike traveling in America, where for the most part we all know the rules and customs, the Philippines is a very different place. The fear of the unknown can be a deterrent to living life.
As we gathered at the airport Crazy D introduced me to a crew of “cherry boys”. A cherry boy is a newbie to the Philippines. I looked at the group and there was a 56-year old, a 70-year old, and myself, 28-years old at the time. This was the first time I had met these guys and their story went along the lines of collecting dust and wanting to be in the comfort of beautiful women. I couldn’t blame them! I talked to them and found out they both knew Crazy D for only a very short period of time before making their decisions as well. I would have never believed these older guys were in for the time of their life unless I saw it with my own eyes. I guess you never know when your time is going to come, so mathematically these guys didn’t have a lot of time left.
THE DEPARTURE FROM HELL TO HEAVEN
Crazy D worked the ticket counter girls like a he owned the airline. He got me 3 seats so I had the whole row to myself. I slept for 14 hours! I woke up for the last 2 hours because I was excited for my first trip to this mythical place. As soon as we landed and left the plane you could feel the energy! Manila is a really big city and everything is on the move. As soon as we cleared customs we walked outside and I swear I remember every person looking at me like I was a celebrity! Girls have no problem looking at you dead in the eye and checking you out.
I really forgot what it was like to see so many people smiling all the time it was really a refreshing feeling to see. We all got into the Van that had been prearranged by Crazy D and were off to Paradise. The ride was pretty interesting in that the traffic was really intense for the beginning portion but as we got of Manila and on to the highway it was pretty scenic with vast rice fields and large mountains and beautiful blue skies. I didn’t know where we were going but I could feel the excitement radiating from Crazy D. It was so intoxicating and I being in sales and a master of non verbal communication I knew I was in for something special!
ARRIVAL TO PARADISE
We were finishing up the one and half hour trip from Manila to our destination Angeles City and it was a lot to take in seeing things that I have never seen before and just getting off a 16 hour plane ride. The Philippines is a 3rd world country and that being said things were a little chaotic there were a lot of motor bikes and no stop lights at 4 way intersections or even stop signs so things seemed pretty unorganized but strangely traffic flowed and worked just fine. Everywhere you looked you saw hot little Filipinas. Once we arrived at our hotel we got checked in and the older guys wanted to rest a bit before we started to paint the town red. Crazy D said “Hey Jon I got a few things I need to do you want to go?” and invited me to go with him. I wasn’t tired so I agreed to go with him our first stop was he had rented an apartment even though he went only four times a year for a couple weeks at a time. I thought this seemed odd as why rent a 3 bedroom place if you hardly ever there? But then again this is par for the course with Crazy D. You don’t get that name for doing what a normal person would do. We went in the apartment and it needed some cleaning as it hadn’t been rented in a while. Crazy D said we will stay here tomorrow and let the other guys stay at the hotel. He walked outside and saw a few girls invited them in and they immediately started to clean the place I was flabbergasted that you just ask girls to come and they do and then they clean your place! I asked Crazy how long he knew the girls he said 10 seconds more than me! I was like wow these girls were really cute and just wanted to meet us as we are the new “meat” in the neighborhood so they rushed at the chance to come in and clean his place all the while smiling and laughing. I was amazed.
FIRST DAY IN ANGELES CITY PHILIPPINES..
We finished up the errands and the other guys were awake and hungry. Crazy had everything planned out so we went to his favorite restaurant at the time Margarita station to eat. I remember sitting in a booth and looking over and seeing a fat fuck Harley guy with a girl that’s waist was about the same size as this fat fucks arm. This picture unfortunately has been permanently burned into my memory. As it was burning into my mind I thought to myself this fat loser couldn’t even pay enough money to get a female back in the states to hang out with him let alone this tiny hot spinner! Things were moving fast at this point and things your mind thought were impossible were happening right before your eyes, talk about sensory overload! The two old guys are now with us and I am sure were having a lot to try to comprehend in this new and wild environment. Dan the guy in early 60’s was asking a million questions the whole time and again asked Crazy D “are you sure the girls like older guys”? Crazy D now eating his food finished chewing and said “No, they don’t like older guys” and he paused for a minute as too let these two guys who just came across half the earth get disappointed he then said “ they love older guys!” as he started to laugh in his super intense high pitched tone. I really learned from then on Crazy D like to fuck with people for his own and sometimes others amusement. Crazy D then said” look all around you, you boys are young!” again wailing in laughter. He was right I looked around and thought this could be a geriatric lunch room. Not only was there the fat Harley guy but tons of old guys who all had big smiles across there wrinkly old faces. I at the time of seeing them didn’t know why they were all so happy but in the end found out.
We headed out for the night for our first night in Angeles and you could feel the energy in the air as you hear music coming out of every bar you walk past. We were walked down the main road which is called Fields Ave. which is where the majority of the debauchery takes place, as you walked by each bar the “door girls” would be yelling and screaming at you to come inside. It’s funny how they would often yell handsome come in side and I could feel that the attention you got from these hot little girls however fake it could be was intoxicating. Crazy D had the biggest smile that one could ever have ear to ear, baby after having the first girl run up to him! Our party crew consists of me and the two old guys and Crazy D who has to stop often as the door girls would be yelling Crazy D’s name! I was pretty surprised and asked him how do they all seem to know you as he hadn’t been here in 5-6 months? He said”Oh I fucked her my last trip and her” as he points in all different directions. Crazy D then again would take all of the girls photo’s he takes more pictures than a Japanese guy in Disney World with 5 kids! The girls and a lot people around town knowing Crazy D would be a common theme throughout the trip. We finally made it into a bar called Nero’s and as we walked in there were so many girls you couldn’t believe it! I was amazed at how little and hot these girls were how young they looked. The girls were all smiling and cheered as us group of guys came walking thru the door. I instantly had sensory overload upon going into my very first bar! The sheer number of hot girls in bikini’s dancing around blew my fucking mind and how tiny and hot they were. We sat down and ordered some drinks and Crazy D began to tell us how it all worked with the girls in his super intense ADHD mania. I pull D aside as my Pedo alarm was going off and asked him” how old are these girls” Crazy said “like 19-20-22”Crazy D then said” Why do you ask?” I said they are “just so little” Crazy D then said in an intense manor “We have a name for these tiny ones out here” I asked what it is. Crazy D said “spinners”
I sat there in awe as the girls weighing no more than 90lbs were all smiles and dancing around on stage. It was like an out of body experience when I realized that I was living my own dream of being in a bar like this which I had first saw it in the movie “Blade” with Wesley Snipes. Hot Asian girls dancing and laughing all around me, things couldn’t get better. After I reenter my own body I saw Crazy D taking to a girl on stage which is elevated about 2 ½ feet Crazy D was still almost as tall as her. When then went to a bar called Blue Nile which was popular at the time. Crazy D being the ultimate host said “ I am going to pick out a pro for you” I asked him what’s a pro? Crazy D said very excitedly “Ooh a pro is a girl that has been working a while and will rock your world!” I figured well he has been right so far what the hell, let’s try Crazy D’s “pro”pick. As we are having some drinks crazy jumps up like a lion that just spotting a injured gazelle and runs to the other side of the bar and I could barely see what he was doing after a few minutes he came walking over with a girl. Crazy D as giddy as school boy introduces Rose to me and the crew that moved over to a roomier couch. Rose is a sexy and sultry 24 year old girl which oddly in the Philippines is considered old for some reason. After some small talk Rose lifts up her skirt to reveal her shaved and underwear less pussy. I instantly got hard as fuck and she laid me back on the couch and sat on my face. I was munching her smoothly shaved slice and ass like a I was in a professional watermelon eating contest. Crazy D said “ooh you should barfine her Buck” I came up for what felt like my first breath of air like I was just came out of a vagina at birth. I wiped away her juices and asked D what a bar fine is? Crazy D said that’s the price you pay for the girl to go out of the bar and to hang out with you for the night. He said pay the 1,200 peso(at the time $22) and she is yours! I was sold..
I was tired not really from jet lag but really just the intensity of the whole new environment. Rose went off to change into her street clothes and I was trying to let the blood get out of my cock so I could leave. Crazy D was pretty fired up and said I had Rose a couple trips ago and she will blow you away! I will get you a trike and have fun. Rose came back and we were off on the way to the apartment that Crazy D decided to get instead of getting a hotel room. The night was amazing and rose massaged me and licked and sucked till I was in love.
The next morning as we woke up together Rose was tugging on my ear and massaging my chest and Crazy D comes by and pushed open the door and loudly says “wow rose did you take care of my boy Buck last night” rose smiled and said “of course I did”. I was thinking to myself I had so much fun with here I want to stay with here as I felt the fear of loss was better the chance of gain. Rose hopped up to take a shower and Crazy D said in what was odd for him a dead serious tone “Buck you got to kick her out” I was shocked and said why D she was the best I have ever had up till this point in my life! Again in a not joking tone he said “Buck listen you’re going to fall in love on this trip a lot. Fuck I fall in love with a new one every day but you’re here for body count not a wife. I knew deep down inside that he was right in what he was saying and till this point he was right about everything he said thus far. So I had to mustard the courage as Rose was getting out of the shower and coming back to the room in just her white towel smiling at me. She said what are we going to do today? I said Rose “I can’t hang out with you today Crazy D and I have plans to do stuff” Rose was pretty sad and said I really like you and want to spend time with you. I said Rose I like you too and we can in a couple days just give me your number. She did and then got dressed and left.
By now Crazy D with the energy of a million men said to cheer me up hey lets grab lunch and then get the edge off! I was still kind of bummed out that I had to kick Rose out but asked what’s “get the edge off mean”? Crazy said nonchalantly oh that means we go to a short time bar and get a nut off so before we then go barhopping to find some girls we can be relaxed. I was like what the fuck this place is insane! You go to a bar that specializes in 3 hours of hanging out just so your sac is drained so you can relax before you then go out for the night! At this point I wondered if the plane crashed somewhere over the Pacific Ocean and I died and was in a 3rd world heaven?
I instantly cheered back up and we jumped on Crazy D’s rented moped and headed down to “Blow road”. We got off the bike and girls were begging us to come in and said lets boom boom. I being new wasn’t too familiar with all this new jargon but quickly figured out that Boom Boom was to fuck. Crazy D was fondling all the little cuties in a manner that would get you life in prison in most countries. Blow road as its called by the locals was at the time a dirt road just 50 yard off the main street Fields Ave. There was some bullshit documentary done about one of the bars on Blow Road called ”Hope in Heaven” it is narrated by Kiefer Sutherland you dirty fucking traitor! Anyways when sitting outside looking around being on a dirt road and shit I felt as though I was GI on a break in Vietnam going to get a little sucky sucky. After I came out of my daze Crazy D already had a girl and was upstairs already. I saw this little cutie pie and she said lets go upstairs to which I gladly obliged her. This building was a pretty junky and after going upstairs it got pretty hot as there was no air conditioning and just an electric fan. My nuts were pretty sweaty so I asked where the shower was and the bathrooms in the Philippines are different where the shower is right there next to the toilet with really no separation. Also there was a big water container and a small pale with a handle as instead of a shower you throw cold water from this reservoir on to you and then wash yourself and use the bucket again to rise off. It seemed a bit primitive to me but there wasn’t any other options. We go into the “short time room” this is a small room with a shitty mattress that is for sure cum stained and an electric fan. The Ritz it is not but the fun is store more than makes up for the accommodations.